Arts & Culture / Mosaic / May 13, 2010

‘I want to have wild and kinky sex. There, I said it.’

Every seat in Kresge Recital Hall was taken Friday night. Almost a dozen students sat in the back of the auditorium on the floor wanting to listen.

Dan Savage, author of the sex advice column Savage Love, came to Knox to perform Savage Love Live by answering questions from Knox students.

The week before the program, students of Knox College sent in anonymous e-mails to Dan from a Knox Gmail account. Savage arrived with a basket in hand and discussed each question in detail.

The first few questions were answered with humor. Savage replied to each question with a quick pace, candid enthusiasm and strong opinions. Sophomore Tyler O’Neill enjoyed his Q&A style, “One of the things I most respected about his Q&A was the fact that he took (with a few exceptions) seemingly obvious or silly questions and answered them earnestly and intelligently. He was able to take a vague query and fully answer it and any peripheral issues it might have implied.”

Students asked about trying new things, frustration with their partners not knowing how to please them and the humor quickly turned into a much more serious theme.

A message that freshman Alex Ayers thought “can help all of us improve the way we interact with each other.” Knox students need to focus on bettering their communication. Savage said that most heterosexual people ask to have sex, and that’s where the communication stops.

With homosexual people, that is usually where the communication begins. For that reason, “gay people have more sex, better sex and more exciting sex” than most heterosexuals, said Savage.

Savage reminded Knox students that the most important thing to have in a relationship is communication. There is no one-way to do a blowjob, no mysterious perfect sex position and there is not a surefire way not to get rejected if you ask someone out. But that’s life.

Knox students need to become, for those who are not already, comfortable with communicating what they like. One person’s favorite position may be another person’s most loathed. With sex, communication is essential. Savage said, “If you’re not comfortable enough to talk about sex, you’re not ready to be having sex.”

For the most part, students loved him. Sophomore Claudia Alpert said, “I thought he presented a lot of really useful information about a serious topic in a very humorous and interesting way that everyone could enjoy.” Ayers thought he was “by far one of the best speakers Knox has had.”

Some students did have a few qualms with how Savage answered some questions. Freshman Alice Nicholes said, “My only complaint is that when one person asked about depression medication and sex drive, he didn’t suggest the person see the doctor [to]… ask about alternative treatments that won’t affect the libido.” Sophomore Jordan Reifsteck said, “I found the parallel he made between dogs and people…at St. Mary’s [to be] extremely offensive and distasteful.”

Was it worth going to? Freshman Rup Sarkar thought so. “Dan Savage was really cool. He was really funny….It was well worth going to.”

Memorable moments and quotes

Q: Can you pee in someone during anal sex?

Dan Savage: Can you? I think the question you should be asking is “should you”…

Q: How do you break up with someone?

DS: Promptly.

You name it. He wants to ejaculate on it.

Listen to how people talk about things. You can judge someone by how they talk about their ex’s. Smile, be polite and kind.

If he doesn’t eat you out, dump him.

Q: Can a girl make herself squirt?

DS: Yes, I’ve seen it.

Sara Koehnke


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