At the risk of sounding self-conscious, I feel that writing about online dating while experiencing it has the makings of a romantic comedy. I went into this expecting I would not find anyone I would like, or could easily talk to, but I did.
What not to do on dating profiles
After looking at the profiles of the men who send me a message, there are definitely some things that will turn women away. Here are some of the things to avoid when using a dating profile, from a female perspective.
As in real life, if you are too direct with the person you’re speaking to in your first moments of contact, it might make that person uncomfortable. On one profile, someone said, “Straight up now tell me do you really want to love me forever.” That is too much to ask of a person, especially when you know nothing of them.
While I might be taking this the wrong way, another was too forward in his “Ideal Date” section when he said, “Just trust it will be a night you wont soon forget [sic].” What you include in your profile is someone’s first impression of you. A few glances at your profile would determine if someone would contact you or not. Ideally, you might not want to include that you like porn and Nicholas Cage movies, as one person did for his Movie section, because it would not give the best impression. Besides questionable taste in movies, at least I knew what that person was saying. One person’s profile was entirely in Spanish.
‘We have a lot in common’
Despite looking at profiles and getting messages and phone numbers from people on this site, I did not find someone I was actually excited to talk to—until two weeks ago. After he sent me a message, I looked at his profile. I was shocked to see he liked many of the same books and movies I do and he played a musical instrumental. Finding someone who had things in common, I quickly sent him a message, indicating I’d like to talk to him more. Soon after, we started talking for a little bit almost every day, first by texting then by IMing each other. I really like and appreciate when he texts me good morning. It is the little things, I guess. A few days ago he suggested that we talk on the phone or videochat next.
Even though we have only been talking for a short amount of time, we found out that have so much in common. We both like spicy food, B-movie horror and sci-fi films, more of the same books and movies and have backgrounds in music. We also have the same goal of helping people. He asked me if it was safe to say we have a lot in common and I said I definitely agreed. I just could not believe I could have so much in common with someone, and that it took a dating site in order realize it. I am starting to think maybe online dating is not so bad.