Columns / Discourse / April 27, 2011

Sex in the Lincoln Chair: Which orgasm could it be?

SJ, 19, Female, from Arcata, California asks,

“How do you know if you have had a vaginal orgasm not just a clitoral one?”

Female orgasm is a tricky thing, and a lot of people don’t know the mechanics of achieving one or how they happen. A lot of men don’t even know what’s going on down there—they see female orgasm as that scene in the Matrix where the bad guy takes control over that person’s body in the helicopter (look it up!). And that’s primarily from a lack of education and communication—men end up in the dark, and women end up not being fully aware of their bodies. It doesn’t help that our culture doesn’t encourage conversations during or about sex. For example, sex scenes in mainstream movies usually focus on a shot of silent naked bodies performing the act without saying anything. Neither one of them really talks about what they are doing with each other, but somehow they move in synchrony with one another throughout the experience. In reality, communication and experimentation are key to an enjoyable sexual experience.

So, to answer your question, SJ, vaginal orgasms and clitoral orgasms are basically the same thing—they’re both the result of stimulation of structures that are all connected and nerve endings that work in similar ways. A lot of the time you’re just getting at the same internal structures from different sides during any form of sex. If you’re stimulating both the g-spot and clitoris at the same time, they’re working together to create an orgasm. They’re not really distinguishable in the way a lot of people think they are, though sometimes they can seem different (for example, women who are able to ejaculate report being able to do it with mainly g-spot stimulation). So, some people do feel orgasms differently if they stimulate only the clitoris vs. only the g-spot, but an orgasm is an orgasm. There are also a lot of other factors that come into play when you think about them, such as intensity, how long they last, the speed of muscle spasm, and other factors that are more noticeable than vaginal “vs.” clitoral.

At the bottom of it all, female orgasm isn’t that much different from a man’s—it’s just a thing that feels good; tension builds up and then releases. All those possible combinations of nerve stimulation make female orgasm like a box of chocolates—you never know what you’re going to get unless you try them all.

S.H.A.G. Team


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