The (un)official guide to Knoxspeak

How to talk the Knox talk

September 1, 2011

On campus there exist a number of locations, campus legends, activities, events and so forth, which are known more commonly as something else. Here is your first English lesson at Knox: the Knox Jargon List!

ASA (eh-es-eh)

Name proper: Alpha Sigma Alpha

Sorority on campus.

Aux Gym (AHkz jim)

Name proper: Auxiliary Gymnasium

Home of the dance department, the basement is workspace for art studio students.

Beta (beh-ta)

Name proper: Beta Theta Pi

Fraternity on campus.

Breakfast bagel (breh-k-fust bay-gel)

A delicious concoction of bagel, cheese and egg. This heaven can be found in the Gizmo for $1.90.

Caf (caf)

Name proper: The Hard Knox Cafe

Found in Seymour Union, this is the primary food-gathering place for many Knox students.

CFA (see-ef-ay)

Name proper: Ford Center for the Fine Arts

Most of the theatre, music and art classes are held here. Students who devote themselves to the arts can be seen wearing shirts bearing the phrase “CFA ate my soul.”

Compass Room (KUHM-puhs room)

Name proper: 251 S. West

Located at on-campus living spaces known as the Townhouses, there is a separate upstairs room in the middle of the building where classes are held on occasion.

C-store (SEE-stor)

Name proper: Out Post

The convenience store located in Post Hall offers food, snacks and small necessities.

CTL (see-tee-el)

Name proper: Center for Teaching and Learning

Located across from Post Hall, they can find you a tutor and can help with writing and citation.

Delta (del-tuh)

Name proper: Delta Delta Delta

Sorority on campus.

Synonym: Tri-Delt

Fat Cave/Fat Room (FAT cave)

This small cove in the Caf contains all the cafeteria’s available desserts and sugary cereals. Responsible for the bulk of the infamous “freshman fifteen.”

FIJI (FEE-gee)

Name proper: Phi Gamma Delta

Fraternity on campus.

Five-name (five-naym)

Made of the Sherwin-Neifert, Furrow and Elder-Campbell Halls (see Quads).

Flunk Day (FLUHNGK DAY!)

You have to see it to believe it.

Founders (found-ers)

Name proper: Founders Lab

The main computer lab found in Seymour.

Four-name (for-naym)

Made of the Simonds-Drew-Longden and Griffith Halls (see Quads).

GDH (jee-dee-aych)

Name proper: George Davis Hall

Most of the political science, international relations, language and economics classes are held here. It’s also home to Knox’s radio station, WVKC.

Kaldi’s (KAWL-dee-s)

Name proper: The Bean Hive

A popular coffee shop off-campus, the name was changed because a St. Louis coffee chain has the same name. Most students, however, still affectionately and stubbornly refer to it as “Kaldi’s.”

Kappa (ka-puh)

Name proper: Kappa Kappa Gamma

Sorority on campus.

Knox Five/Knox Time (nokz five)

Everything at Knox runs at least five minutes slower than the posted time.

Knox Fox (nokz fokz)

There is a fox that lives near/around/in SMC. He has been adopted as a quartiary mascot.

Lincoln (LING-kuhn)

You may have heard many times over that the Lincoln-Douglas Debates were held on Old Main’s steps. This is true! And because of this wonderful historical link, Knox has adopted Lincoln as a secondary mascot.

Mud Pit (muhd pitt)

The Knox Flunk Day custom of digging a giant hole in front of Conger-Neal Hall and filling it with water; although not officially sanctioned by Union Board, it remains a sacred Flunk Day tradition (see Flunk Day).

Paint Fight (paynt fite)

Usually on the Flunk Day schedule, the tradition of students throwing colored paint at one another takes place on Post lawn (see Flunk Day).

Pi Phi (pie fi)

Name proper: Pi Beta Phi

Sorority on campus.

Post (post)

Name proper: Janet Grieg Post Hall

Quads (kwods)

Made of the Simonds-Drew-Longden-Griffith, Sherwin-Neifert, Furrow, Elder-Campbell, Sellew-Raub and Neal-Conger Halls.

Rep Term (rep-turhm)

Name proper: Repertory Theatre Term

A term once every three years in which students take theatre classes and put on two full-length productions.

Rodge Lodge (roj-loj)

Name proper: The Roger Taylor Student Lounge

Opened just last year, the Rodge Lodge is a great place to study or just hang out. It is equipped with a plethora of comfy chairs, foosball, ping pong, pool and air hockey tables, as well as flat screen TV’s and video games.

Synonyms: Rodge Mahal, Jolly Roger, Taylor Lounge

Seymour (see-mohr)

Name proper: Seymour Union

Building comprising Seymour Hall (the all-boys’ dorm), the Caf, Gizmo, Rodge Lodge, mailroom, bookstore, Founders and Campus Life Office.

TKE (TEE-k)

Name proper: Tau Kappa Epsilon

Fraternity on campus.

TKS (tee-kay-ess)

Name proper: The Knox Student

You’re holding it! This is the student-run newspaper, printed weekly. Join us!

Sidenote: Referring to TKS as “The TKS” is redundant.

SMC (smACK)

Name proper: Sharvey G. Umbeck Science and Mathematics Center

Most of the science and math classes are held here. SMC basement holds a series of lockers with strange titles like “bat wings,” “Schrödinger’s cat” and “Narnia.”

SMC Rat (smACK rat)

That kid you’ve never seen because they spend all their time in SMC. Twitch when exposed to sunlight.

SNU (snU)

Name proper: Sigma Nu

Fraternity on campus.

Squirrel (skwer-rul)

A small, endothermic quadruped of the order Rodentia. You’ll see more during one day at Knox than in the last 10 years combined.

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