After consulting a Ouija board during a prairie thunderstorm, “Moonbeam” and “Asteroid” were struck by a powerful cosmic lightening bolt and subsequently blessed with visionary astrological powers. They became vehicles for prophetic celestial wisdom, under one condition: that they share their insight with the Knox universe.
For the week of September 21- 27:
September 23-October 22
A creative date idea will pay off this weekend to light the embers of a prairie fire romance. Breakfast bagels and then rollerblading? Ooh la la! The sky’s the limit so long as you remain mindful of your friends, whose help or guest meals you may need on Sept. 25.
October 23-November 21
Don’t dwell on that check-minus you got on your reading response, remember that Scorpios are capable of genius. Your professor might just be intimidated by your quiet intensity. You might want to let lose on Friday, but you should go easy on the Keystone Light and stay away from that impressionable freshman.
November 22-December 21
Don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang this weekend; the stars say that you’re going to shine! But early next week take some time to stop and smell the corn, maybe take a quiet walk along the tracks. Just watch out for trains!
December 22-January 19
Choose realistic goals in the love department this weekend. If you’re single, that hottie in Zine Club! might have a mutual interest in custom squirrel apparel, Lincoln tattoos or even your favorite Charles in Charge Tumblr. Loosen your grip on the old pocketbook and treat him to a night at the Gizmo.
January 20-February 18
This week you will feel inspired, so bring your infamous Aquarius uniqueness to whatever you do. Make that triple fudge sundae in the Fat Cave you’ve always wanted to try, wear your pajama jeans that everyone else thinks are ugly, but you think are great, to class or see if you can play your bongos at The Bean Hive.
February 19–March 20
It is a good time for Pisces to make long- term changes. Are you an English major but think you would be really great in neuroscience or astrophysics? Now’s
the time to infiltrate the Sharvy G. Umbeck Science-Mathematics Center! Don’t be so caught up in your own free-spiritedness that you miss out on opportunities at the beginning of the week. Spend too much time daydreaming by the prairie plot and you might miss the cute Ultimate Frisbee player.
March 21-April 19
This weekend you have to take charge, which shouldn’t be hard for a ram! Karaoke at the Broadview? Belt it out! Take it slow on Monday and Tuesday; you need to know all of the details about why your roommate Skypes at 4 a.m. before you throw her computer in Lake Storey.
April 20–May 20
When that keg stand backfires on your friend, don’t say I told you so. Getting into an argument or calling “bullshit” (our puns are always intended) will only make matters worse this weekend. You will get spring fever at the beginning of the week, just be mindful of the Knox plague.
May 21-June 20
A spike in income is possible this week. Your Grandma may accidentally think that it’s your birthday again this month. Don’t feel guilty about cashing the check– she loves you. You might strike up a great conversation in the Gizmo this weekend, as your communication skills are spot on.
June 21-July 22
Make peace with the suitemate that ate your Alfono’s, she knows not what she does under the influence of Ambien. Now is the time to extend an olive branch, as any grudges will keep you from forming a true bond. She’s a science major, and may have to give you a job one day.
July 23-August 22
Heading to the library Friday night will not only help your grade point average, but will influence others to take it easy. You might even share a study cubby with a cute stranger, just make sure that he goes here and isn’t pictured in campus safety’s special not-allowed-on-campus book.
August 23–September 22
Your friends and loved ones have always admired your organizational skills or what they lovingly refer to as “OCD.” Your meticulous attention to detail is finally paying off. Make sure to reward yourself with a Q’s brownie or hot bath in Williston basement.