After consulting a Ouija board during a prairie thunderstorm, Moonbeam and Asteroid were struck by a powerful cosmic lightning bolt and subsequently blessed with visionary astrological powers. They became vehicles for prophetic celestial wisdom, under one condition: that they share their insight with the Knox universe.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
This week Neptune is shaking up your domestic needs — giving you the urge to seek out a new, cozy abode. And, as you know, the best place on campus to snuggle is the library. Try creating a bunk under a study alcove desk or fashioning a lean-to in the basement. Just make sure to hide during closing, and don’t forget to shower at the gym every once in a while.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Did you recently click with a local with the same enthusiasm for Tai Chi in Standish Park? You should get to know each other over a spinach salad at the Pizza House, or a PBR behind the Quickie. You’ve definitely found a friend for life.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
As Mars moves into Virgo, you’ll be feeling particularly ambitious. It’s time to do the things you’ve always wanted to do, like make a pilgrimage to Arcola for the Raggedy Anne and Andy Museum. You can learn the history of your favorite infatuation and even pick up a new friend at the gift shop.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Neptune is moving into your eighth house of transformations this week. According to the stars, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to shed part of your old identity. It may be time to take down your *NSYNC shrine or finally let go of those Tamagotchi pets you’ve looked after with such devotion over all these years.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Mars may have you feeling all starry-eyed, Pisces. If you’re in a relationship, things could be getting hot and heavy fast this week. If you’re single, be sure not to come on too strong. Just because someone let you borrow their pen doesn’t mean they want a romantic date in the Oak Room or vegetable people sent to their K-Box.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Thanks to Mars, now is the perfect time to kick those old and harmful habits. Instead of drinking your usual three Monsters and a Pepsi Max before fiction workshop this term, try cutting back. Better yet, try a chamomile tea instead. Your new lifestyle is sure to bring peace and clarity to you and those around you.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Take some time this week to revive your spirit. You may feel deprived of both puppies and babies while away at college. Now is the time to branch out, and make connections with puppies and babies in town. Volunteer at the humane society, or set up a drop-in day care service at the Wal-Mart.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
This week is all about letting go for you, Gemini. Remember that you can’t control every aspect of your life and sometimes you just have to let the universe work its magic. Just be mindful of the fact that you’re more likely to be sucked into a wormhole with Morgan Freeman than for the universe to work any magic on your grades.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
The half-moon is in your house of homies. Are you still vehemently a member of team Jacob when all of your friends have betrayed you for team Edward? Maybe it’s time to part ways and see if the rift can’t be settled until the “Breaking Dawn pt. 1” premier later this month.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
K-Pax is in retrograde in your house of emotional turmoil. Did your roommate steal the Cost-Co size box of fruit snacks you were going to subsist off of as your dining dollars dwindled? Now is the time to make a pro-con list and see if she really deserves your friendship.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
It’s time for you to spend some time on you for once, Virgo. Compulsively planning an itinerary for a spa day at the Carl Sandburg College Annex is just what you need. Just try not to freak out the cosmetology students with your high-strung hygienic demands.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Now you are feeling extra charitable, which could lead to more opportunities than you anticipated. Volunteering for a Galesburg Civic Art Center fundraiser could help you hobnob with the local elite. What’s next? Dinner at La Gondola? A romantic night of theatre at Lombard Middle School’s holiday pageant? A paddleboat excursion on Lake Storey? Anything is possible.