As you’ve probably heard, presidential candidate Rick Santorum lost to Romney in the Iowa Caucus 30,015 to 30,007. That’s a difference of eight.
“I told you it would matter,” a disappointed Santorum said to his wife and his seven children, “I want each and every Santorum voting in New Hampshire.”
Karen Santorum used the excuse that you can only vote in your own district. Santorum’s son Peter claimed that he couldn’t vote because he is “only twelve years old.”
“It’s not fair,” Santorum said, “All 21 of Romney’s scion support him!”
The family dog Bartholomew Santorum, on the other hand, did manage to impersonate a very hairy tea partier at the convention and endorse his owner with a vote. He did it not just out of family loyalty, but because he (like Santorum) is a firm believer in the immorality of contraception. Especially when it involves people cutting off his balls.