Columns / Discourse / January 11, 2012

A security threat: A satire

This week U.S. soldier Trey Scott Atwater accidentally carried C4 explosives on a plane from North Carolina to Texas and nobody noticed … until he tried to return to North Carolina carrying the same exact C4 explosives.

Apparently they weren’t packaged in a three-quarters-empty plastic Aquafina water bottle with the sticker partially peeled like TSA was expecting them to be. Sly old Atwater didn’t even sneak a stick of dynamite in his shoes like you would think he would do.

He just put the incendiary material right in his bag, not even within a lotion bottle or covered with the obfuscating electrical pattern of a laptop. And then, or so he claims, he forgot that it was there and took it on a plane. And no one noticed it. And then he tried to take the same bag onto another plane.

To the TSA’s credit, Atwater is a soldier, so one can only assume he must be pretty patriotic and not a security threat. As we all know the next big terrorist will most certainly be one of those suspicious 80-year-old ladies who always set off the detectors with the metal in their hips.

Ben Lee

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