Arts & Culture / Mosaic / May 2, 2012

Crazy (Knox) laws

Although they govern virtually every aspect of life at Knox, it is safe to say that most students have never dared to wade through the entire list of Faculty Regulations.

That is with good reason too, as most of the regulations are devoted to dealing with such fascinating issues as the rules governing scheduling of faculty meetings. However, there are some regulations that are a little bit more interesting. What sort of little-known regulations are lurking in the depths? We here at TKS decided to find out.

C7 ­­— Letter grades have

qualitative meanings. A’s are for, “performance that is outstanding in relation to that which is competent,” whereas the performance needed for a B must be merely, “conspicuously better than that which is competent.” D’s are for work “less than competent;” F’s are for work “unworthy of credit” entirely.

C 16.1 — Professors may

choose to drop any student who fails to attend the first day of class without a valid excuse.

C 17 — The Executive Com-

mittee has the power to hold convocations at which student attendance is mandatory.

D 6 — Athletics are charged

with providing experiences that are both “wholesome” and “satisfying.” It also forbids any sort of special privileges to students based on athletic ability.

D 8.4a — Fraternities and So-

rorities are specifically forbidden from requiring any sort of “protracted informal initiation of the type known as ‘hell week.’”

And finally, my personal favorite regulation, D 4.5, which governs popularity contests. Any student organization wishing to organize a campus-wide popularity contest, such as the election of student royalty, must first obtain approval from the Student Life Committee.

But what does the faculty get in exchange for keeping track of all of these arcane regulations? A look into the Faculty Handbook reveals some of the lesser-known perks that Knox faculty enjoy.

IV. C. 5. Faculty can put

charges on their accounts at the Bookstore and any dining area on campus, provided they pay it back in set amount of time.

V. A. 1. Faculty get to check

out books for six months, but if another faculty member requests the book in question, they are expected to try to return it.

V. B. 14. Funds for the

Entertainment of Students-Money is budgeted to help the faculty pay for entertaining students at their homes or at language tables.

Matt Barry
Matt Barry is a senior majoring in international relations and double minoring in economics and German. This is his third year working for TKS, having served previously as discourse editor. He has worked for such organizations as the Chicago Council on Global Affairs, Premier Tourism Marketing and the Council on American Islamic Relations-Chicago, where his work appeared in such publications as Leisure Group Travel, Ski & Ride Club Guide and The Chicago Monitor. Matt has written his political opinion column, "The Voice of Reason," weekly for three years, which finished in first place at the 2012 Illinois College Press Association conference and was also recognized at the 2013 conference.

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