Columns / Discourse / April 5, 2017

Satire: Is it officially Spring Term?

Spring has sprung, birds are chirping, rain is blowing in our faces — could it be that Spring Term has finally graced us with its presence? Browse through this quiz and circle all that apply. A score of 5 or more means that Spring Term has indeed started.

 

  1. You’ve heard the faint whispers across campus: “I heard it’s May 3…” “No, I heard it’s May 10….”

 

  1. You and your roommate have begun to work on your Flunk Day alcohol stash.

 

  1. The time-old question of “What are you doing this summer?” has begun to pop up in conversation.

 

  1. The frisbee team has slowly migrated outside from their wintertime habitat.

 

  1. You catch even your professors staring longingly outside during class.

 

  1. Slowly but surely, your motivation to do even the smallest task is diminishing.

 

  1. You find yourself not doing assignments because you’re fairly certain the day they’re due will be Flunk Day.

 

  1. The smell of beer and barbecue wafts delicately from fraternity houses on weekends.

 

  1. Winter boots and coats are traded out for rain boots and jackets.

 

  1. Each conversation you have with a senior somehow circles back to the fact that they have not a glimmer of an idea as to what they will be doing after graduation.

 

  1. You’ve spent the past few weeks applying for various internships.

 

  1. The day drinking has begun.

 

  1. You’ve had to dodge several golf balls as the FIJIs make the campus their golf course.

 

  1. You have finally been able to walk home from your sixth period class in the sunlight.

 

  1. The birkenstocks are back and better than ever.
Lillie Chamberlin
Lillie is a sophomore at Knox, majoring in creative writing with an emphasis on comedy and minoring in gender and women's studies and theatre performance. She is the president of Knox's Best Buddies chapter, and during her summers she is a camp counselor at an all-girls summer camp where she teaches classes including (but not limited to): canoeing, Beyonce Appreciation, Comedy, Journalism and "Wacky Sports". She began submitting discourse pieces her freshman year and now loves sharing other peoples' work through the section-- she encourages everyone to write for discourse!

Tags:  column discourse opinion quiz satire spring term

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2 Comments

Apr 06, 2017

In my experience, nothing that wafts from a fraternity house has ever been delicate!


Apr 06, 2017

16.) (or after 9.) But the winter coats stay on reserve in case the weather changes within the next 12 hours.
That would be my personal addition 🙂



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