Welcome to Better than Your Horoscope, where you send me your questions and I try my best to answer them. Today we have a very well-written question:
Sometimes it feels like Knox is just a bad place to find love or romance, or any kind of special someone. Is this a me issue, something on all college campuses, or just a special thing about Knox?
Well, Empty-Hearts-and-no-Prospects, I really don’t know. But I’ll try my best.
I think we’re expected to believe in college romance because of societal expectations and pressures. My parents, for instance, constantly remind me that they met each other during their junior year of college. Talk about pressure.
And of course, who couldn’t get self-conscious about it after that article Lillie Chamberlinwrote about Knox love? Where are the loves of our lives? Where are our meet-cute stories?
Honestly, they might just not be at Knox. If you think about it, this is a very, very small school. Fourteen hundred people is a very small fraction of the people out there in the world. That’s smaller than my high school, and my romantic prospects there were nonexistent. So I don’t think it’s a “you” thing if you haven’t found the love of your life while at Knox. The odds are just not always in our favor.
If you’re lucky, you’ll date a couple of people and leave with some experiences to draw from. If you’re more lucky, you’ll meet someone you actually really like and it’ll go somewhere. But the latter is rare.
I mean, I don’t have the statistics, because I don’t think there are any. So I would say also ignore the so-called statistics about how many people meet their spouse in college. Especially this college in particular. It’s probably completely made up.
Ultimately, you can’t compare yourself to other people. And that goes for a lot of things besides dating and romance. That’ll just put you on a downward spiral that’s completely unproductive.
I’m not a big believer in fate, but I am a believer that things work out the way they do for some reason. Maybe not some life-altering reason, but some reason. And if you’re not graduating from Knox with a significant other on your arm, that’s probably because you have much, much more in store. Beyond this tiny college on the prairie.
I still remember graduating from high school and feeling like a loser for never having dated during those four years. I was rambling to my friend, whom I was driving home, about it, and she turned to me and said, “Okay, but you did way more important stuff.”
So really. I’m sure there are some very important things you are doing here at Knox that are not dating. And I assure you it’s not a “you” problem. It’s just a general life problem. A non-problem at that.
But with all that being said, I do not think all hope is lost. Get rid of your expectations! Throw caution to the wind! You never know what might happen if you just relax for a minute!
But with or without the romantic love we expect ourselves to find, I’m sure you’ll be fine.
If you would like your question answered in the next issue of TKS, submit anonymously at bit.ly/TKSAdvice, or drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.