Columns / Discourse / February 18, 2015

Ego: Overcoming fears

 Look around yourself. Everybody is busy with their work. Everybody is given their own work to finish by some point. We run ourselves for our deadlines. Every single day has important work for each person. Sometimes we don’t know where we are. Sometimes we feel like we are blind while looking where to go because everything around us changes too fast. Continual running and jumping hurdles in our lives makes us feel exhausted in a long-term marathon. Life is short, however, every 24 hours and seven days are repeated in different patterns. This long life journey is a mission for us to find our egos which define us by the understanding of our identities. Self-recognition and self-perception beyond fears must be involved in understanding our egos even in our hectic, busy daily lives.

We always face differences between what we think of the world and what we face in the world as a reality. The gap between our perceptions and our real feelings in our daily lives usually makes me feel down as I lose my potential energy to go for my ultimate dreams. Also, I try to do my best in every single thing around me. I try to do it perfectly. However, some fractions of my life do not turn out as I expected. This also makes me feel down and lose my desires. Plus, my attitude to have a high sense of expectancy towards friends, family and academic success usually makes me sad because nothing satisfies me. With brutal honesty, I usually push myself to go further at the maximum level where I can go because of my belief that life is always on the air, without rehearsals, until death.

 I have been told by my best friend, SoJung Yoo (‘17), “You must be crazy, definitely, since I can see how crazy you drive yourself by pursuing everything you want at the same time.” At that time, I couldn’t answer anything at all to her because literally her words described how I managed myself in my life at Knox these days. And I didn’t know how to respond to her because I was actually exhausted by running myself more than I can do normally at that time. Now, I can respond to her that my crazy-like lifestyle is because of my firm assumption: the only way for overcoming fears about my future is to drive me crazy about pursuing my maximum goals on a daily basis.

For overcoming our fears about losing something important, we should turn out to be brave: “She can do it! He can do it! Why not me?” Setting a particular time (like 4:30 am every day for me), we should think of who we are at least once in a week. And we should set small daily goals to achieve. If you don’t know who you are and what to do, set aside time from your ordinary life, think back about your past and predict your future with strong honesty at some point, in a quiet place. It will lead you to find your ego by understanding who you are in your busy life.

Josh Ji

Tags:  Fear growth lifestyle meditation reality reflection

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